If you read the first letter of each line of my fun little acrostic poem, you will see the title “That’s a No!”
Yesterday’s “Confidence, Courage & Clarity” call with a group of wonderful ladies was all about boundaries. We discussed how boundaries need to be based on your values. Because we all have our own values, our boundaries are also unique to us.
It’s all very well knowing yourself and what you are willing to accept and what you don’t accept. However, we also have to communicate this to other people. If we expect them to read our minds, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.
When we first start setting boundaries, typically we get into trouble. Having had no boundaries, we tend to swing too far the other way and come across as rather harsh.
There is also the issue that other people who are used to stepping all over us are usually quite resistant to the new version of ourselves. They were enjoying the status quo and here we are making changes! How dare we?
One of my mentors taught me how to set boundaries with a specific set of words. One Friday afternoon, he told me to use “Things are going to be different from now on.” Over that weekend, I set no fewer than 10 boundaries. I started noticing people trespassing over my boundaries all around me.
Saying “No” is a huge part of setting boundaries. Most of us have struggled with this at some time. But if we play around with different ways of saying “That’s a No!” we can actually have fun with it.
Nowadays I do enjoy setting boundaries. It feels so empowering. And if you struggle with boundaries, I encourage you to get in touch. I will be delighted to help you with that.
So what’s next in my group coaching series?
This coming Friday we will be talking about Boosting Your Confidence. If this is something you want more of, come along. It’s free and the time is 2pm in Cayman. Check below for the correct time in your zone.
Time: 12 PT, 1 MT, 2 CT, 3 ET, 7 SAT, 8 BST, 8 CET – all pm.
To enrol in Group Coaching, please fill this very short Enrolment Form https://forms.gle/huFJbb6rjbJh67bD8. After you have registered you will receive the link to the calls.
If you are interested in learning more about my 1:1 coaching please see Orchard Coaching & Retreats.