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Improve Your Emotions

It’s amazing how much you can improve your emotions!

We can Improve our Emotions

Yesterday morning I was feeling quite depressed.

The reasons were several. First, I have not been eating meat recently, which always results in a bout of depression. And I have been overeating carbs which invariably leads to a borderline diabetic state.

Second, our quick trip to the UK reminded me that both parents and one sister are no longer with us. Keeping busy means I have not sufficiently grieved them. Also, the jet lag has me sleep deprived.

Third, my one month temporary job has come to an end and once again I feel challenged without it. Ironically, when I’m busy I do so much better with my coaching business. And when I’m not busy I don’t feel motivated to do very much.

Lastly, I feel hopeless about the situation in Gaza. I want to help but am not sure how and this leads to a sense of helplessness.

Can you relate to any of this? Do you ever feel not quite yourself?

When you don’t feel great what can you do to improve your emotions?

There are many things we can do to raise our vibration and I’ve written on this before. Here is a list of what I did today:

  • I made a To Do list and worked my way through it. And I noticed that taking action made me feel better. In fact completing a task is well known to give us a dopamine increase.
  • I had 5 calls today. Two were with my children and 2 were with friends and the other was with the coaching community I’m a part of. Socializing also has a powerful effect. It promotes the release of oxytocin in our brains.
  • In the morning, I had a short walk, followed by a longer one in the afternoon. Again this produces chemicals in the brain. Walking in nature is a great way to stimulate serotonin production.
  • I ate some foods rich in vitamin B12. These include fish, meat, poultry, eggs and dairy products.
  • Finally in the evening, I had a little dance with my tiny 500 gram weights, while doing some laughing practice. All of which help with endorphin levels.

Next time you are feeling a little “off” I encourage you to try some of these methods to intentionally raise your feel good hormones and improve your emotions. And let me know how it goes. I would love to hear from you.

 

Kindness

On Saturday we experienced a random act of kindness.

Kindness

Someone had baked some Christmas treats and they left a box of them outside our front door.  We have not discovered who this Secret Santa is.

This kindness was completely unexpected and it’s had a profound effect on me. At first I wanted to find out who this person was, so that I could thank them properly. I started racking my brain to think who it was and who I’d done a kindness to. But all the people I asked said it wasn’t them.  None of the had any idea who it could be. I would love to know who it is. But then I also see that not knowing makes it much more fun. The mystery is part of the kindness.

The treats were really delicious. They tasted like the person had used healthy natural ingredients, even though they were sweet. So you could say this was good food for the body.

It has also been good food for thought. When I think about it kindness is one of those things you can’t buy. It benefits the person you are kind to. And it also benefits you if you are being kind. But not in such a way that you should be kind so that it will benefit you. It’s the lack of ulterior motive that benefits you.

In our society we are so individualistic and materialistic that it’s very rare to see pure kindness like this. Whereas years ago when people lived in closer community, there was much more kindness to each other. As far as I know in rural communities people are still much kinder to each other.

I’m wondering how you and I can bring more kindness into the world. We could start off really small and smile at total strangers. We can certainly hold the door open for people. And they don’t have to old and decrepit for us to do this.

If we see someone who can’t afford their groceries, we could offer to pay if we can afford them. We can also use a kind tone of voice when dealing with a service provider, even if the service has gone wrong and we need to make a complaint. And if we are the service provider we can provide it in a kind way.

How can we be kind in our relationships?

Of course we should be kind to our own family members. That is what “Charity begins at home” means. Often people use that as an excuse not to give money to a charity that is not in their own country. But it is really about being as kind at home as we are when we are out and about.

Then we can listen to people more deeply and encourage them. And we can hold ourselves back when we went to give our unsolicited advice to them. We can ask them questions to show that we are interested.

The last paragraph describes what a coach does. But you don’t have to be a coach to listen more and give encouragement without giving unwanted advice.

Not only should we be kind to humans, but we also should be kind to animals. People sometimes take out their frustrations on their cat or dog, while being kind to humans. This indicates that they have some kind of hidden anger. If that’s the case they need to be kind to themselves.

If you would like some support in loving yourself and being more kind to yourself or others let’s talk. You can book a free Kindness call here.

 

 

 

Unstoppable!

Unstoppable!

Unstoppable!

That’s what I want to become in 2024! If learning to go from “couch potato” to running a half marathon in 3 months has taught me anything it’s that I have the potential to be Unstoppable! And the good news is you have it too.

At this time of year, we often set health and fitness goals such as “I want to fun a full marathon this year.” And we set really good intentions of working on all our relationships. We might decide to take up meditation or read the Bible in a year. Or perhaps our goals are about getting a promotion or more clients. You get the drift.

But what do I mean by unstoppable? I define someone as unstoppable if they do the following:

  1. Pursue a goal and continuously work towards it;
  2. Educate themselves all the time;
  3. Relish the learning that comes from adversity;
  4. Stick it out even when the going gets tough;
  5. Ignore the many naysayers who try to stop them;
  6. Step out of their comfort zone to get to the next stage.
  7. Take action daily even when they are travelling or sick;

If you read down the first letter of the above list you get the word ‘PERSIST’. So many times we set our goals and we try for a little while. But then something comes along like a sickness, or a distraction and we lose momentum. We don’t persist with it. I’m guilty of this too. Like last year when I set a goal of playing a Beethoven piano in a concert and I improved it daily for 4 months. But when I went skiing and got sick, I lost a whole month of progress, and I didn’t want to take it back up. It felt like I couldn’t catch up. I won’t let that happen again!

The fact is that when we lose progress, we can pick things up again and we will soon catch up. Like I did with my Hebrew after setting it aside for a few months. I couldn’t remember much at all, so I started from scratch, but very soon I was able to play with complex sentences – ok I’ll admit I’m only talking about Duolingo!!

Much more importantly, as a coach, I’m here to model what being persistent looks like. I need to be persistent with my morning and evening routines for my self development. In my coaching, I can continuously upgrade my skills so that I can serve my clients more powerfully. Certainly in building a business, it’s all about persistence.

And persistence is also what you need when you want to become unstoppable. I invite you to think about your goals and decide what needs to happen to achieve them. I’m here for you if you are ready to take your life or business to the next level. But be warned, I’m not interested in having the same conversation every week. I’m here to help you make real progress. Don’t bother contacting me if you’re satisfied with a boring or unfulfilling life. I only work with people who are motivated. You can book a free call with me here to become Unstoppable! 

Taking Back your Power

Taking back your power is healing.

Taking back your power

On Saturday I sent a message to a woman who I used to be friends with at Prep School in the UK. She grew up in the Cayman Islands, so she was actually the reason I had heard of them as a wonderful and positive place to live. A mutual friend had told me she didn’t remember me, so I had not bothered to contact her in the 22 years I’ve lived here. Limiting beliefs can hold us back in so many ways!

She had actually been in the year below me at school. So in theory we would not have been friends. The reason I was friends with her was because the boys in my class used to hit me. As a result the girls in my class were too scared to be friends with me. She and another friend in her class were like a safe haven for me.

As soon as I sent the message I started to cry, which was a surprise. When I thought about why, I understood that they were healing tears. It’s all about putting things right and taking back my power. Although I’ve forgiven those boys long ago, the years of daily kicks and insults had affected me deeply. Because of my limiting beliefs, my relationships and career were severely impaired.

But you and I know that NOW is the time to embrace change and positive beliefs.

Taking Back Your Power through Setting Goals

While on the theme of taking back my power, this past Sunday was a good one for that. I ran the Cayman Half Marathon for the first time. I have not been a regular runner until recently. It was something I only thought of in September. But it turned out that it was all about taking back my power. Setting that goal and consistently working towards it has helped build my confidence and shown me I have so much more potential.

Cayman is completely flat so that made it achievable as a beginner. One of the other things that made a difference is the playlist I’ve been running to. Obviously, having a good beat certainly helps. But what I’m amazed at is how many songs there are that empower women. Where have I been? For the last 30 years, I’ve been too busy bringing up 4 children and working on my self development to notice much of what was happening in the music world.

If any of this resonates with you and you’d like any support taking back your power, book yourself a free coaching call.

Why am I always late?

Why am I always late?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? If you struggle with being late, read on.

Ever since I was a little girl I have struggled to arrive anywhere on time. I had to run everywhere and as a result I was a very skinny child.

When I was at prep school I was always late for chapel in the morning. More often than not I was the last person to arrive. And everyone would be lined up outside ready to process inside, so they would all see me rushing to get in line.

Then at secondary school I was always late to get to class. We often had a class in one building followed by a class in the other building which was a 5 minute walk away. But somehow it took me longer than most to gather my things together and get to the next class.

As an adult I have struggled with arriving on time if I have to drive somewhere. If you are similar, you may be wondering what can we do about this problem?

Here are 5 simple things to help you arrive on time:

  1. Look up on Google Maps how long it will take to get to our destination in current traffic conditions.
  2. Always allow yourself time to get ready. You might need to visit the bathroom, fill up your water bottle, or feed the pets.
  3. Give yourself longer than you expect to get there.
  4. Allocate time for parking.
  5. Don’t forget to consider how long it will take to walk from your car to the door of the building you are visiting.

These 5 things are usually enough to get me there on time. But sometimes I get distracted and don’t leave at the time I should. Maybe you do too. I think it stems from not wanting to waste time. So if I have 20 minutes before I leave, I decide to do something else in the mean time. The problem arises when the activity I’m doing to fill the time takes far longer than I want to admit to myself. Such as designing a presentation on Canva, or talking to my children in the UK.

So my new Golden Rule for getting somewhere on time is:

Avoid any tasks that can’t easily be ended before leaving for any kind of appointment. Instead, use the time before you need to leave wisely by sitting calmly and practising mindfulness. That way you can leave when you are meant to and arrive on time.

I am so grateful that my coaching is mostly online. That’s why I love Zoom because I only have to sit at my desk and I’m (almost) always effortlessly on time! As for meeting guests and visitors on time, I have not been doing well recently with this, but I recommit to working on it. I humbly ask for and appreciate your patience!

How to Motivate Yourself

Let’s talk about how to motivate yourself.

How to Motivate Yourself

The most known way to motivate yourself is to have a big goal and some smaller goals or targets within that. I’m sure you’ve heard of SMART goals. Just in case you haven’t, those letters stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-based.

It’s really important for goals to be specific and measurable, because wanting to be “a bit fitter” is just not that motivating. But if you aim for completing a 5k run in say 25 mins, you will know whether you’ve achieved it or not. And then you can reward yourself when you do.

I always encourage people to set goals that are super achievable. So for example, if they say they will study for 2 hours each evening after work, I ask “What is the bare minimum you could study?” They might reply that they must do at least one hour. So I ask them to commit to that instead. That way, they know they will definitely achieve it, and if they feel inspired to do more, it’s a bonus.

Obviously, your smaller goals need to be relevant to your overall goal, so that you are always moving towards that. For example, I would like to be able to do a half marathon (13 miles). There is one being held at the start of December. So if I set that as a goal, I have 3 months to train for it.

This morning I got up early and started my running season with a 2 mile public run. This is how I kept myself motivated. For the most part it was about convincing my brain that I could keep going.

During the first section, I occupied my mind with saying a prayer that has a certain format and takes a good 15 minutes. That way I hardly noticed that I was running in my sleepy state!

Next, I imagined that I was playing pickle ball (which I have just started) and a certain point on the path ahead was a ball that I wanted to hit. I did that several times, and it kept me moving just a little bit more each time.

Third, there was an older man who was wheezing and gasping for breath, but he kept up a good pace. I told myself “I can’t let him beat me.” Also I decided that if my breathing was not a struggle, and no part of my body was hurting, that meant I had a lot more energy within me.

Then I told myself I would have a slap up breakfast as a reward for my run. I would have my porridge with berries, followed by turkey bacon and scrambled eggs on toast with a mocha latte. The reality turned out to be slightly simpler, as we need to go to the supermarket. But the thought kept me going! I also lengthened my pace so that I was stretching my legs.

Lastly, I imagined people at the finish line cheering me on. And then I turned the corner and the finish line was in sight. I slightly increased my speed. And as I got closer I heard that people were really cheering me on! I waited until I was about 100 metres to the end. Then with a big smile on my face, I got faster and faster until I was actually sprinting through the finish line! Yes! I did it!

As always, this serves as a metaphor for life and business. Sometimes we just need to convince our brains that we can carry on.

If you would like a powerful Motivate Your Momentum call with me, so that you can keep moving forwards in life and business, you can book it here.

 

 

Why I Dance Every Morning

 

Why I Dance Every Morning

There are so many reasons why I dance every morning. Perhaps you can relate to some of them.

  1. First of all, I am a person who believes you should only do exercise you love. Therefore the thought of going to a boot camp with someone shouting instructions at me is a huge turn off. If you love the exercise you do, you are so much more likely to continue doing it every day. Dance is good for my physical health and I feel good in my body.
  2. Secondly, any kind of movement that gets us to use our bodies differently from usual is good for our mental health. Trauma resides in our bodies, and makes us get stuck in the body language of helplessness. When we dance, we are expressing ourselves however we want and we release that tension from our bodies and minds. So dancing makes me feel good in my mind as well.
  3. Dancing to music with positive words also affects me emotionally. Often the songs are about overcoming adversity and feeling great. So these ideas fill my mind every time I dance to them. Even if I start off feeling down, within a minute I feel really good about myself.
  4. I usually dance to praise music. Which means that the dance is a kind of prayer. When I dance I am connecting myself to something higher than myself. As humans, we all need to do this in whatever way we feel comfortable with. Even if you are not a person of faith, you will benefit from some sort of spiritual practice.
  5. I live in the Caribbean, where it is hot all year round! In the heat of summer, it is wonderful to be able to exercise in the air conditioning, without the risk of overheating or sunburn!

Are you interested in giving it a try? You might also like to read Need a pick me up?

If you would like help choosing a morning routine to feel better in body, mind, heart and spirit, you can book a free call with me here.

 

Add a Little Adventure

What would it mean to you to add a little adventure?

Add a Little Adventure

When I think of adventure, my mind wonders to exploring jungles, mountains and rivers. Where does your mind wonder?

 

It’s a wonderful thing to plan an adventurous journey, and I would definitely encourage you to make that plan. But what if we could have an adventure in our own town, city or region? What if we could just add a little adventure to our every day lives?

 

This morning, my husband and I went for a walk, as we do every Saturday. I suggested we drive to our walk in his new truck. He wanted to go to the same place we drove to last time. But I reminded him that variety is the spice of life, so he agreed to go on a mystery drive.

 

We drove to the sailing club and parked the truck. Then we started walking down the road. After a few minutes in the heat, I wanted to walk in the shade. It just so happened that we came to the entrance to a shade-filled property. I wanted to go in but we hesitated.

 

A broken, faded old sign said Private Property. The metal gate was rusty and someone had bent one of the rods so there was a big gap. We climbed through the gap and entered what looked like the garden of Eden.

 

I could see beautiful pine trees but the garden was completely overgrown with Scaevola bushes.  There was still the remains of a path winding to a house. The house had outside walls missing and was empty.

 

We walked behind the house and came to the shoreline. This shoreline was wild and unkempt, rather than a manicured, pristine beach. So we walked along it picking out where to step so we wouldn’t trip on a piece of rock. There were clear views of land across the water.

 

We stood by the water and identified other parts of the island that we could see in the land in front of us. I still find the geography of our island confusing, as parts that seem far by road, are actually very near each other as the crow flies. But that is life on a small island.

 

This little walk felt like an adventure. Yet we didn’t have to go far to experience that feeling. What adventures can you experience in your local area? And how can you bring a sense of adventure to your life? How about a visit to Sea Orchard Retreat?

Need a Pick me up?

How can you feel better when you need a pick me up?

Need a little pick me up?

My go to is always dancing. It’s not that I’m a great dancer or anything like that. But getting my body moving releases endorphins which help me to feel good, at the same time as reducing cortisol which causes stress, anxiety and depression.

 

The music I dance to affects my mood as well. In the mornings I choose to dance to praise music. So my dance time doubles up as a sort of prayer. Sometimes I might dance to Salsa, because I love it. I enjoy listening and singing along to the Spanish.

 

Today I am dancing to Bollywood songs! Although I don’t know any of the right moves, it doesn’t matter at all. I can try to copy what the dancers in the video are doing. And if I get it wrong, so what? I can make it up and I still get a workout. It’s not like anyone’s watching!

 

The videos are so much fun to watch with all the red, purple, orange, teal and gold clothing. Since the songs are usually part of a movie, you get a sense of the story they are part of. Which makes it so much more fun for me than jogging on a treadmill!

 

What can you do to release your endorphins and reduce cortisol in your body? Perhaps you love the treadmill! There’s nothing wrong with that! And the elliptical machine can give you a really good workout without putting strain on your joints. It’s a great way to get fit and burn fat as well.

 

But what I want to know is, what kind of movement do you absolutely love to do? Because if you really enjoy it, you’re far more likely to do it regularly. And it doesn’t have to be for a long time either. Just 5 minutes a day of some movement that you love can give you so much joy and improve your self esteem. It might help your physical fitness too!

 

So what will you choose next time you need a little pick me up?

 

 

 

 

 

Living Your Light

What do I mean by Living Your Light?

Living Your Light

It is about who you are being rather than what you are doing. We’re all very unique even though there are a lot of similarities to us. We’ve all had different upbringings and experiences. We’ve lived in different places and in different families.

When I talk about Living your Light I mean being the authentic version of you.

Who is the authentic version of you, the innermost person? Maybe you go to work and put on your foundation and makeup and work clothes, and this makes you feel confident. Just like those power suits people wore in the ’80s to become a super confident character. Who are you when you take off your makeup and you’re not wearing your work clothes?

I’m a coach, and what I spend my time doing is coaching people. But in my morning job, who am I being? If people are stressed, who can I be to help them to be calm?

Being authentically you is also about to having to conform. We feel that we need to be accepted by society, so we conform to certain norms. When we are authentically ourselves, we don’t have to try to fit into those pigeon holes. Embrace the weird!

As a child maybe parents or teachers told you not to do certain things so you suppressed parts of your character. For example I remember at school always looking out the window and day dreaming. And teachers definitely saw that as a bad thing, as a sign of laziness. But actually the ability to dream big is a good thing. It’s a superpower!

Also my mother used to say “Stop showing off” because I was always being the comedian at home. So as a result, I suppressed that part of my character. It’s only later in life that I have got back into performing, and now I would like to develop the comic side of myself. What are the quirky things about you that you have suppressed? These may be your superpowers! And to really shine your light into the world, you will need to develop your superpowers.

This week in my FB group, I did a training on how to start Living Your Light. If you would like me to send you the link let me know.

If you’d like 1:1 help with living your light or having a more awesome life, you can book yourself a coaching call with me here

Have a look and see if you can find a time that works for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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