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How to Motivate Yourself

Let’s talk about how to motivate yourself.

How to Motivate Yourself

The most known way to motivate yourself is to have a big goal and some smaller goals or targets within that. I’m sure you’ve heard of SMART goals. Just in case you haven’t, those letters stand for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-based.

It’s really important for goals to be specific and measurable, because wanting to be “a bit fitter” is just not that motivating. But if you aim for completing a 5k run in say 25 mins, you will know whether you’ve achieved it or not. And then you can reward yourself when you do.

I always encourage people to set goals that are super achievable. So for example, if they say they will study for 2 hours each evening after work, I ask “What is the bare minimum you could study?” They might reply that they must do at least one hour. So I ask them to commit to that instead. That way, they know they will definitely achieve it, and if they feel inspired to do more, it’s a bonus.

Obviously, your smaller goals need to be relevant to your overall goal, so that you are always moving towards that. For example, I would like to be able to do a half marathon (13 miles). There is one being held at the start of December. So if I set that as a goal, I have 3 months to train for it.

This morning I got up early and started my running season with a 2 mile public run. This is how I kept myself motivated. For the most part it was about convincing my brain that I could keep going.

During the first section, I occupied my mind with saying a prayer that has a certain format and takes a good 15 minutes. That way I hardly noticed that I was running in my sleepy state!

Next, I imagined that I was playing pickle ball (which I have just started) and a certain point on the path ahead was a ball that I wanted to hit. I did that several times, and it kept me moving just a little bit more each time.

Third, there was an older man who was wheezing and gasping for breath, but he kept up a good pace. I told myself “I can’t let him beat me.” Also I decided that if my breathing was not a struggle, and no part of my body was hurting, that meant I had a lot more energy within me.

Then I told myself I would have a slap up breakfast as a reward for my run. I would have my porridge with berries, followed by turkey bacon and scrambled eggs on toast with a mocha latte. The reality turned out to be slightly simpler, as we need to go to the supermarket. But the thought kept me going! I also lengthened my pace so that I was stretching my legs.

Lastly, I imagined people at the finish line cheering me on. And then I turned the corner and the finish line was in sight. I slightly increased my speed. And as I got closer I heard that people were really cheering me on! I waited until I was about 100 metres to the end. Then with a big smile on my face, I got faster and faster until I was actually sprinting through the finish line! Yes! I did it!

As always, this serves as a metaphor for life and business. Sometimes we just need to convince our brains that we can carry on.

If you would like a powerful Motivate Your Momentum call with me, so that you can keep moving forwards in life and business, you can book it here.

 

 

Why I Dance Every Morning

 

Why I Dance Every Morning

There are so many reasons why I dance every morning. Perhaps you can relate to some of them.

  1. First of all, I am a person who believes you should only do exercise you love. Therefore the thought of going to a boot camp with someone shouting instructions at me is a huge turn off. If you love the exercise you do, you are so much more likely to continue doing it every day. Dance is good for my physical health and I feel good in my body.
  2. Secondly, any kind of movement that gets us to use our bodies differently from usual is good for our mental health. Trauma resides in our bodies, and makes us get stuck in the body language of helplessness. When we dance, we are expressing ourselves however we want and we release that tension from our bodies and minds. So dancing makes me feel good in my mind as well.
  3. Dancing to music with positive words also affects me emotionally. Often the songs are about overcoming adversity and feeling great. So these ideas fill my mind every time I dance to them. Even if I start off feeling down, within a minute I feel really good about myself.
  4. I usually dance to praise music. Which means that the dance is a kind of prayer. When I dance I am connecting myself to something higher than myself. As humans, we all need to do this in whatever way we feel comfortable with. Even if you are not a person of faith, you will benefit from some sort of spiritual practice.
  5. I live in the Caribbean, where it is hot all year round! In the heat of summer, it is wonderful to be able to exercise in the air conditioning, without the risk of overheating or sunburn!

Are you interested in giving it a try? You might also like to read Need a pick me up?

If you would like help choosing a morning routine to feel better in body, mind, heart and spirit, you can book a free call with me here.

 

Add a Little Adventure

What would it mean to you to add a little adventure?

Add a Little Adventure

When I think of adventure, my mind wonders to exploring jungles, mountains and rivers. Where does your mind wonder?

 

It’s a wonderful thing to plan an adventurous journey, and I would definitely encourage you to make that plan. But what if we could have an adventure in our own town, city or region? What if we could just add a little adventure to our every day lives?

 

This morning, my husband and I went for a walk, as we do every Saturday. I suggested we drive to our walk in his new truck. He wanted to go to the same place we drove to last time. But I reminded him that variety is the spice of life, so he agreed to go on a mystery drive.

 

We drove to the sailing club and parked the truck. Then we started walking down the road. After a few minutes in the heat, I wanted to walk in the shade. It just so happened that we came to the entrance to a shade-filled property. I wanted to go in but we hesitated.

 

A broken, faded old sign said Private Property. The metal gate was rusty and someone had bent one of the rods so there was a big gap. We climbed through the gap and entered what looked like the garden of Eden.

 

I could see beautiful pine trees but the garden was completely overgrown with Scaevola bushes.  There was still the remains of a path winding to a house. The house had outside walls missing and was empty.

 

We walked behind the house and came to the shoreline. This shoreline was wild and unkempt, rather than a manicured, pristine beach. So we walked along it picking out where to step so we wouldn’t trip on a piece of rock. There were clear views of land across the water.

 

We stood by the water and identified other parts of the island that we could see in the land in front of us. I still find the geography of our island confusing, as parts that seem far by road, are actually very near each other as the crow flies. But that is life on a small island.

 

This little walk felt like an adventure. Yet we didn’t have to go far to experience that feeling. What adventures can you experience in your local area? And how can you bring a sense of adventure to your life? How about a visit to Sea Orchard Retreat?

Need a Pick me up?

How can you feel better when you need a pick me up?

Need a little pick me up?

My go to is always dancing. It’s not that I’m a great dancer or anything like that. But getting my body moving releases endorphins which help me to feel good, at the same time as reducing cortisol which causes stress, anxiety and depression.

 

The music I dance to affects my mood as well. In the mornings I choose to dance to praise music. So my dance time doubles up as a sort of prayer. Sometimes I might dance to Salsa, because I love it. I enjoy listening and singing along to the Spanish.

 

Today I am dancing to Bollywood songs! Although I don’t know any of the right moves, it doesn’t matter at all. I can try to copy what the dancers in the video are doing. And if I get it wrong, so what? I can make it up and I still get a workout. It’s not like anyone’s watching!

 

The videos are so much fun to watch with all the red, purple, orange, teal and gold clothing. Since the songs are usually part of a movie, you get a sense of the story they are part of. Which makes it so much more fun for me than jogging on a treadmill!

 

What can you do to release your endorphins and reduce cortisol in your body? Perhaps you love the treadmill! There’s nothing wrong with that! And the elliptical machine can give you a really good workout without putting strain on your joints. It’s a great way to get fit and burn fat as well.

 

But what I want to know is, what kind of movement do you absolutely love to do? Because if you really enjoy it, you’re far more likely to do it regularly. And it doesn’t have to be for a long time either. Just 5 minutes a day of some movement that you love can give you so much joy and improve your self esteem. It might help your physical fitness too!

 

So what will you choose next time you need a little pick me up?

 

 

 

 

 

Living Your Light

What do I mean by Living Your Light?

Living Your Light

It is about who you are being rather than what you are doing. We’re all very unique even though there are a lot of similarities to us. We’ve all had different upbringings and experiences. We’ve lived in different places and in different families.

When I talk about Living your Light I mean being the authentic version of you.

Who is the authentic version of you, the innermost person? Maybe you go to work and put on your foundation and makeup and work clothes, and this makes you feel confident. Just like those power suits people wore in the ’80s to become a super confident character. Who are you when you take off your makeup and you’re not wearing your work clothes?

I’m a coach, and what I spend my time doing is coaching people. But in my morning job, who am I being? If people are stressed, who can I be to help them to be calm?

Being authentically you is also about to having to conform. We feel that we need to be accepted by society, so we conform to certain norms. When we are authentically ourselves, we don’t have to try to fit into those pigeon holes. Embrace the weird!

As a child maybe parents or teachers told you not to do certain things so you suppressed parts of your character. For example I remember at school always looking out the window and day dreaming. And teachers definitely saw that as a bad thing, as a sign of laziness. But actually the ability to dream big is a good thing. It’s a superpower!

Also my mother used to say “Stop showing off” because I was always being the comedian at home. So as a result, I suppressed that part of my character. It’s only later in life that I have got back into performing, and now I would like to develop the comic side of myself. What are the quirky things about you that you have suppressed? These may be your superpowers! And to really shine your light into the world, you will need to develop your superpowers.

This week in my FB group, I did a training on how to start Living Your Light. If you would like me to send you the link let me know.

If you’d like 1:1 help with living your light or having a more awesome life, you can book yourself a coaching call with me here

Have a look and see if you can find a time that works for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Time to Embrace Change

It’s time to embrace change!

Time to Embrace Change

Change is what life is all about. So why do we sometimes fear it?

Positive changes are what coaching is all about! I am enjoying the changes I’ve been making in my life. I was feeling overwhelmed, so I started a part time job! And it has really helped me become much more efficient.

I’ve been doing really well with my morning routine. I added a 15 minute piano practice to my dancing, walking, and journaling. And in the afternoons between calls, I have just started having ‘Dance and Declutter’ sessions!

My clients are all making good progress in their lives and it is great to see them grow. And I am making progress in my own fitness, faith, and friendships.

However there is one area in my life where I still need to make improvements. And that is in a particular relationship. So that will be my focus for change from now on. And I feel positive about it, because I have made positive shifts in other relationships.

Could you call my focus on everything else procrastination? In a sense yes. But not in a bad way. Because I believe that any movement is good. It is always better to do something than nothing. Even if that something is not the one most important thing that you need to do.

What if you’re trying to decide between two paths? You are finding it hard to commit to either. So as a result you do nothing. That stagnation is what we should be afraid of!

Surely it is better to do something… anything just to get some momentum. Because as you make little changes, even if they are less important, they shift something in your thinking. You discover more of what you like and what you don’t like. And you grow in confidence to make other changes.

So I say it’s time to embrace change.

If you’d like any help with making positive changes in your life, you can book a call with me here.

To find out what other people have said about coaching with me see their reviews here.

Overcoming Overwhelm!

Overcoming Overwhelm

This coming Friday,  I will host my group coaching workshop called Overcoming Overwhelm. It is the last in a series of 6 workshops.

Overwhelm strikes when you have too much work to do, you have personal issues and significant life events happen all at the same time. It feels like there is too much to deal with and you don’t know which situation to look at first. You don’t know which way to turn. It’s hard to focus on the bigger picture. Instead your brain thinks about all the details of the many different situations. And it feels like you are drowning.

When my sister and mother died within 5 weeks of each other, strangely I wasn’t overwhelmed. I arranged the funerals, emptied the house, with my other sister. It was clear what I should do and in what order. So I got on with it.

Then when I lost all the money in my account because our airport was closed to tourists, I was worried, but not overwhelmed. We were waiting for our airport to reopen.  Suddenly American Airlines announced they were cancelling all their flights regardless.  At that point I definitely felt desperate, but not exactly overwhelmed.

In the meantime, I was doing a refurbishment of my sisters’ flat in London, emptying my parents’ house, trying to rescue our tourism business and setting up a coaching business.

Overwhelm struck when I became aware that the London flat needed a lot more radical work done than the initial refurbishment.

The worst moment for me was on a particular day when I messaged my tenant at 6 am and over the next few hours she sent me 40 messages back, including several videos of things that needed fixing, after she had already moved in.

How do you typically deal with this sort of situation?  Maybe you take one day at a time and work through it. Perhaps you pray about it. You might talk to someone. Having someone listen to you definitely helps, whether that is your partner, a good friend or colleague, a coach or God!

But there is more we can do to overcome overwhelm and stay calm.

Nowadays, I help my clients with coping strategies using the 5 senses of sight, hearing, touch, smell and even taste. My methods also include Guided Meditation, visualisation, breathing and body movement.

These techniques help you to take a step back and put things in perspective.

Working on our self love, setting boundaries, boosting our confidence, and speaking our truth as well as practising gratitude and self soothing methods all help us to overcome overwhelm.

So I invite you to join us on Friday for the Overcoming Overwhelm workshop. I am going to share with you a very simple but useful tool. And it’s going to be fun!

To enrol in this Group Coaching, please fill this very short Enrolment Form https://forms.gle/huFJbb6rjbJh67bD8. After you have registered you will receive the link to the calls.

 

Speaking Your Truth

Speaking Your TruthYesterday, we had my Speaking Your Truth workshop, which was the 4th in a series.

The first question I asked was “Why is speaking your truth important?” The answer came back loud and clear that if you don’t speak your truth, your life will be out of balance. This will only lead to problems, and even illness.

In the interests of speaking my truth let me tell you about the week I’ve had. On Monday, I coached a very dynamic young lady, who was an inspiration to me! It is truly a joy when I meet someone who is doing so well in life at such a young age. My old self might have felt a tinge of envy since I was held back by old fashioned ideas of women not working. But now I feel so happy for younger women’s success. Maybe it’s my age, but everyone seems so young these days!

The next day, Tuesday, I was interviewed on Radio Cayman about coaching. It was about a half an hour interview, which was amazing! Then the guest after me was late arriving, so I got the chance to coach the presenter live on air! What a cool opportunity! Never have I been so grateful for traffic!

On Wednesday, a funny thing happened. I hosted a Group Coaching for trainee attorneys. I had only invited a very small group as this was a pilot program. We had discussed the topics in advance, and they had agreed to the subjects I had suggested. Almost as soon as we started, it became apparent that they had no need for that workshop! At the end, I went through the other topics, asking if they would benefit from them, and they replied they were doing really well in those areas as well. I was super impressed with how well they had balanced their lives, considering the pressures of their profession.

In the past I would have probably drowned in shame and humiliation! Because I think I would have seen this as a complete failure. But thankfully, the participants were really lovely, polite and kind. They said the workshop would have been helpful to them when they started their “Articles” or traineeship. And since this pilot was designed as a research project, it was useful for me to find out the situation in advance of promoting the program.

On Thursday I had a slight fever so I slowed down. I had a lovely walk in the park with my son, and I took some time to do some dancing. I tried a new piece on the piano, which I discovered was not that hard. It was a Mazurka by Chopin. At the moment I am only playing Chopin!!  I think this must be something like artists going through a “blue” period!

Friday is the day of my regular Group Coaching. As I mentioned above, this was the 4th session and it was on Speaking Your Truth. We had previously covered Self Love, Setting Strong Boundaries and Boosting Your Confidence. But this is the one that was the most challenging for me. Because I still have some work to do in this area. It was powerful! I had my own breakthrough right there on the call. And of course the participants were having their own Aha! moments.  And when I see that happening, it is what makes it all worthwhile.

 

Boost Your Confidence

Boost Your Confidence

Do you want to boost your confidence? This is the story of how I grew mine. I did a series of challenges that took me increasingly out of my comfort zone.

In the early months of this summer, I did a weekly challenge on Facebook Live, that I called Cowardly to Courageous. Each week I undertook a challenge that was slightly scary for me. Even though the challenges may not have seemed scary to other people, the point was that they were out of my comfort zone. They ranged from jumping from a rock into the sea through having acupuncture, to getting a tattoo of the word Courage on my arm.

The interesting thing about confidence is that we don’t need it before we take action. In fact, it is in the taking of action that we gain confidence. A wonderful result of taking action and gaining confidence in one particular area is that it gives you confidence to do other daunting tasks. So after each challenge I took, I stood taller and felt braver to do the next one.

After that, I did a FB Live challenge for 5 weeks, which I called The Joy of Creation. The goal here was to create something without worrying about it being perfect. Each week I did a different creative art, such as dancing, writing, singing, acting and visual art. People commented on the Lives with their prompts. As soon as I saw a prompt, I had to incorporate it into what I was doing. The one I had the most fun with was the Improv acting with a friend.

After the summer, my challenge was to reach out to people and offer them coaching. I worked through a list in alphabetical order. Meaning I started with Attorneys in Atlanta, Barristas in Brooklyn, Chiropractors in Chicago and so on.  This only lasted a week, as not a single person acknowledged my random message! I gave myself permission to stop and do something else.

Here’s what’s significant though. While nobody was interested in finding out more about a gift of coaching from a random stranger, the project was not a fail. The goal of growing my confidence was a great success. Before the challenges I was reluctant to strike up a conversation with someone I didn’t know. After that, I felt much more able to speak to people, regardless of what they do or where they live. So that’s a win!

As I have said before and will say again, it’s all about taking those small steps and reaching further out of your comfort zone each time. That’s how I have been growing my confidence. I would encourage you to do the same if you asked me how to boost your confidence.

 

Love is Forgiveness

I believe that Love is Forgiveness. The more I think about it, the more I consider that Love and Forgiveness are one and the same thing and the words can be used interchangeably. In the same way that you can say God is Love, you could equally say God is Forgiveness.

 

Preachers often discuss these words in the Lord’s Prayer: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us.” They explain it as meaning that God will only forgive us to the extent that we forgive others. If God is Forgiveness, then that reasoning is fundamentally flawed. God is incapable of withholding Forgiveness. Instead, I understand it to mean that we are programmed to be able to receive and accept forgiveness only when we also forgive those who sin against us.

 

If Forgiveness is Love, then that means that we could replace those words with: “Love us (who have sinned against you) as we love those who have sinned against us.” This makes complete sense of Jesus’ words that we should do good (forgive/love) those who persecute us and forgive seventy times seven times. When we do this, then we will be able to receive God’s love.

 

The commandment to “love one another as I have loved you” could similarly read “forgive one another as I have forgiven you” and “love your neighbor as yourself” is the same as saying “forgive your neighbour as you forgive yourself.”

Forgiveness brings healing. I wonder how many people would be healed from their illnesses if we all practiced forgiveness and love of self and others all the time.

 

Lets all forgive each other. Instead of saying “I love you” to people, maybe we could sometimes try using the phrase “I forgive you,” (where it applies). It would take on such a powerful and meaningful significance and perhaps transform relationships.

 

I can just hear it in my head now – the new song by The Beatles “All you need is Forgiveness”.

If you are interested in learning more about 1:1 or 1:2 coaching please see Orchard Coaching & Retreats.

You can book a free session here. 

Or you can email Fiona at seaorchardretreat@gmail.com.

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