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Month: October 2022

Speaking Your Truth

Speaking Your TruthYesterday, we had my Speaking Your Truth workshop, which was the 4th in a series.

The first question I asked was “Why is speaking your truth important?” The answer came back loud and clear that if you don’t speak your truth, your life will be out of balance. This will only lead to problems, and even illness.

In the interests of speaking my truth let me tell you about the week I’ve had. On Monday, I coached a very dynamic young lady, who was an inspiration to me! It is truly a joy when I meet someone who is doing so well in life at such a young age. My old self might have felt a tinge of envy since I was held back by old fashioned ideas of women not working. But now I feel so happy for younger women’s success. Maybe it’s my age, but everyone seems so young these days!

The next day, Tuesday, I was interviewed on Radio Cayman about coaching. It was about a half an hour interview, which was amazing! Then the guest after me was late arriving, so I got the chance to coach the presenter live on air! What a cool opportunity! Never have I been so grateful for traffic!

On Wednesday, a funny thing happened. I hosted a Group Coaching for trainee attorneys. I had only invited a very small group as this was a pilot program. We had discussed the topics in advance, and they had agreed to the subjects I had suggested. Almost as soon as we started, it became apparent that they had no need for that workshop! At the end, I went through the other topics, asking if they would benefit from them, and they replied they were doing really well in those areas as well. I was super impressed with how well they had balanced their lives, considering the pressures of their profession.

In the past I would have probably drowned in shame and humiliation! Because I think I would have seen this as a complete failure. But thankfully, the participants were really lovely, polite and kind. They said the workshop would have been helpful to them when they started their “Articles” or traineeship. And since this pilot was designed as a research project, it was useful for me to find out the situation in advance of promoting the program.

On Thursday I had a slight fever so I slowed down. I had a lovely walk in the park with my son, and I took some time to do some dancing. I tried a new piece on the piano, which I discovered was not that hard. It was a Mazurka by Chopin. At the moment I am only playing Chopin!!  I think this must be something like artists going through a “blue” period!

Friday is the day of my regular Group Coaching. As I mentioned above, this was the 4th session and it was on Speaking Your Truth. We had previously covered Self Love, Setting Strong Boundaries and Boosting Your Confidence. But this is the one that was the most challenging for me. Because I still have some work to do in this area. It was powerful! I had my own breakthrough right there on the call. And of course the participants were having their own Aha! moments.  And when I see that happening, it is what makes it all worthwhile.


Boost Your Confidence

Boost Your Confidence

Do you want to boost your confidence? This is the story of how I grew mine. I did a series of challenges that took me increasingly out of my comfort zone.

In the early months of this summer, I did a weekly challenge on Facebook Live, that I called Cowardly to Courageous. Each week I undertook a challenge that was slightly scary for me. Even though the challenges may not have seemed scary to other people, the point was that they were out of my comfort zone. They ranged from jumping from a rock into the sea through having acupuncture, to getting a tattoo of the word Courage on my arm.

The interesting thing about confidence is that we don’t need it before we take action. In fact, it is in the taking of action that we gain confidence. A wonderful result of taking action and gaining confidence in one particular area is that it gives you confidence to do other daunting tasks. So after each challenge I took, I stood taller and felt braver to do the next one.

After that, I did a FB Live challenge for 5 weeks, which I called The Joy of Creation. The goal here was to create something without worrying about it being perfect. Each week I did a different creative art, such as dancing, writing, singing, acting and visual art. People commented on the Lives with their prompts. As soon as I saw a prompt, I had to incorporate it into what I was doing. The one I had the most fun with was the Improv acting with a friend.

After the summer, my challenge was to reach out to people and offer them coaching. I worked through a list in alphabetical order. Meaning I started with Attorneys in Atlanta, Barristas in Brooklyn, Chiropractors in Chicago and so on.  This only lasted a week, as not a single person acknowledged my random message! I gave myself permission to stop and do something else.

Here’s what’s significant though. While nobody was interested in finding out more about a gift of coaching from a random stranger, the project was not a fail. The goal of growing my confidence was a great success. Before the challenges I was reluctant to strike up a conversation with someone I didn’t know. After that, I felt much more able to speak to people, regardless of what they do or where they live. So that’s a win!

As I have said before and will say again, it’s all about taking those small steps and reaching further out of your comfort zone each time. That’s how I have been growing my confidence. I would encourage you to do the same if you asked me how to boost your confidence.


That’s a No!

That's a No!

If you read the first letter of each line of my fun little acrostic poem, you will see the title “That’s a No!”

Yesterday’s “Confidence, Courage & Clarity” call with a group of wonderful ladies was all about boundaries. We discussed how boundaries need to be based on your values. Because we all have our own values, our boundaries are also unique to us.

It’s all very well knowing yourself and what you are willing to accept and what you don’t accept. However, we also have to communicate this to other people. If we expect them to read our minds, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

When we first start setting boundaries, typically we get into trouble. Having had no boundaries, we tend to swing too far the other way and come across as rather harsh.

There is also the issue that other people who are used to stepping all over us are usually quite resistant to the new version of ourselves. They were enjoying the status quo and here we are making changes! How dare we?

One of my mentors taught me how to set boundaries with a specific set of words. One Friday afternoon, he told me to use “Things are going to be different from now on.” Over that weekend, I set no fewer than 10 boundaries. I started noticing people trespassing over my boundaries all around me.

Saying “No” is a huge part of setting boundaries. Most of us have struggled with this at some time. But if we play around with different ways of saying “That’s a No!” we can actually have fun with it.

Nowadays I do enjoy setting boundaries. It feels so empowering. And if you struggle with boundaries, I encourage you to get in touch. I will be delighted to help you with that.

So what’s next in my group coaching series?

This coming Friday we will be talking about Boosting Your Confidence. If this is something you want more of, come along. It’s free and the time is 2pm in Cayman. Check below for the correct time in your zone.

Time: 12 PT, 1 MT, 2 CT, 3 ET, 7 SAT, 8 BST, 8 CET – all pm.

To enrol in Group Coaching, please fill this very short Enrolment Form After you have registered you will receive the link to the calls.

If you are interested in learning more about my 1:1 coaching please see Orchard Coaching & Retreats.




Letter to Self

Letter to Self

I have been listening to my Letter to Self. Let me explain. On Friday, I hosted the first session of a 6 week group coaching package. It is called Confidence, Courage & Clarity, and the first session is an affirming Letter to Self.  It followed on from my Self Love Journaling Coaching Exercise the Friday before. Participants wrote answers to several self love prompts. These formed the different sections of the letter.

In the Letter to Self we say what we love about ourselves. We remind ourselves to be confident and give evidence for that. Then we give ourselves permission to do what makes us happy. We speak healing words to ourselves, and wish ourselves blessings.

When participants have finished writing the letter, we share our letters with each other. This is what is special about group coaching. As I mentioned in my previous post, when people share their experiences and are vulnerable, they begin to build connection. Over the course of the program, they form friendships and become a community.

Then I encourage them to type it up and print it out. They can frame it and hang it on the wall, somewhere they will see it. Another way to use it is to record yourself reading it. This is what I have done with mine. Hearing the letter in your own voice is a powerful experience.

Often as coaches we are so good at giving to others what we ourselves need. But we forget to give it to ourselves. This Letter to Self is one very helpful way that we can give ourselves what we need. And of course, it is not only for coaches! Anyone would benefit from doing this exercise.

Listening to your own words in your own voice is much more powerful than listening to someone else saying positive statements. Only you know what you most need to hear, and saying it to yourself is so empowering.

To enrol in Group Coaching, please fill this very short Enrolment Form After you have registered you will receive the link to the calls.

If you are interested in learning more about my 1:1 coaching please see Orchard Coaching & Retreats.

My New Motto…What’s yours?

Just Keep Moving

“Just keep moving” is my new motto. I’ll tell you why.

On Monday, Hurricane Ian swept over us. Fortunately for us in the Cayman Islands, he was only at Category 1 at that stage. I decided to go for a jog in the pouring rain and strong winds. It was quite a struggle as you would expect. Especially considering that I have only been for a run once in several years! But I kept myself going by singing “Just Keep moving” to the tune of Despacito. And to be honest it was refreshing and exhilarating!

I find the same philosophy helpful in building my coaching business. And I think it is the same for any kind of entrepreneur. Let me start by saying that if you are thinking of becoming a coach, make sure you are in a paid job first. Because the first year of coaching is an apprenticeship. Since coaching is all about service, I thought of it as voluntary work. No matter how you think about coaching, it is absolutely essential to learn the skills and keep practising. So giving away your time is a great way to do this, as it takes the pressure of you to perform perfectly.

The main challenges I have had are to do with people’s attitudes towards coaching. Let me admit here, that the first time I heard someone say they had a life coach I laughed out loud! So I do get it. But just for fun, I will outline the different responses that people have when I offer them a gift of a coaching session.

Reactions to Offers of Coaching

  1. There are those who are absolutely definite that they don’t want coaching, but then tell me all their problems anyway. They send me numerous texts complaining about their work, the people in their lives, and everything else they can think of. What they really need is counseling, not coaching.  I have a lot of compassion for these people, but they can take up a lot of my time if I let them. So I have to set boundaries with them. And I just keep moving.
  2. Then there are those who are scared that coaching is sleazy, unpleasant or corrupt in some way. They seem to be so suspicious that if they let their guard down and accept one session, I will somehow magically suck up all their money out of their bank account without them having any control over it. They make all sorts of excuses to avoid a free session. “I will be away at that time.” Considering that I work online, it really doesn’t matter where you are in the world! And of course I schedule appointments for people at times they are available. “But I can’t afford it.” I’m wondering what the price is they can’t afford since I didn’t quote them any price. “I won’t keep to the things you tell me to do.”  Coaching is definitely not about me telling anyone what to do! It is about drawing out of you your own wisdom, intentions and choices. Again I just keep moving.
  3. The third group are those who do accept one or more unpaid sessions. They enjoy it and benefit from it. They are happy to make changes in their lives and acknowledge the results. But there is no way they will commit to paying for it! They are not aware of their huge potential, so they don’t see the value in paying for it. They are too scared to even have the conversation about price, because they assume I would be charging astronomical prices. Sadly they miss out on the whole process of finding a customized coaching package with a price that suits them. I can identify with this group, as that is exactly where I used to be. And I honestly don’t mind that I have given my time, because my gift is a gift without strings. Everything is a positive experience and an opportunity for growth for me.
  4. Lastly, there are the ones who are aware of the fact that coaching is helpful to them. They value that help and are financially, and much more importantly, emotionally able to pay for it. I would have to say they are my preferred group! They are fun and dynamic and ready for the challenge of change. These are the people I can really help to make a difference! And I learn from their coaching probably as much as they do! I am so grateful for these people because they trust me enough to allow me to coach them. The feeling of knowing I am helping someone change their own life is why I do what I do. And it has a ripple effect. As they change, they have better relationships, both at home and at work. So the truth about coaches and their clients is: together we are changing lives and making the world a better place for everyone.





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